DOCUMENTS YOU NEED TO PROTECT YOUR OWN AND YOUR SURVIVORS' RIGHTS

These documents are not just for old or sick people. The big court cases about sustaining the lives of people in a coma have been about young women in their twenties. So think about these issues!

DOCUMENTS GOVERNING YOUR MEDICAL AND HEALTH CARE:

An advance directive (an advance medical directive) a document stating what medical care you want if you are unable to speak for yourself. Laws vary from state to state, so you should prepare these documents under the guidance of a local attorney.

There are two main kinds of advance directive: a living will and a health care proxy (or durable health care power of attorney). Of these the second is probably most important.

· A LIVING WILL, a legal document in which you spell out the kind of medical and health care and life-sustaining treatments you want or don't want when you can no longer care for yourself. (Should they shut off the ventilator when all hope seems lost, or should they do everything possible to save you, including tube feeding you as long as possible, no matter the cost? Under what circumstances would you want chemotherapy, blood transfusions, exploratory surgery, amputation, etc. Under what circumstances are you willing to donate your organs?) For more information, go to the U.S. Living Will Registry (link provided). For a contrarian view, read Charlotte Allen's piece (link below). You do not name another person to make medical decisions for you in a living will. For that you need to prepare a health care proxy or durable health care power of attorney. (Don't confuse living wills with living trusts, described under legal and financial documents.)

· A HEALTH CARE PROXY (or DURABLE HEALTH CARE POWER OF ATTORNEY), a legal document in which you name someone (besides the doctor and/or hospital) to be your advocate and make decisions about your health care should you become incapacitated. It is probably a good idea to have one of these even if you don't expect to die soon, because if you are involved in an accident and aren't in a position to make decisions, you want a person you choose to be able to make them for you. Don't choose someone kind and gentle; choose someone smart and able to speak strongly to authorities.

You can have both — a health care proxy naming a person to make the decisions and a living will to help guide that person in making the decisions. It is also important to discuss the feelings, beliefs, and reasoning behind your preferences while you are in a position to do so, as what you say may be more morally and emotionally persuasive than what you provide in writing.

· You may decide at some point to have a do not resuscitate (DNR) order — another type of advance directive — a request not to have cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) if your heart stops or if you stop breathing. If not given such instructions, hospital staff will try to help any patient whose heart has stopped or who has stopped breathing. If you (or your health care proxy) tell your doctor you don't want to be resuscitated, your doctor will put a DNR order in your medical chart.

LEGAL AND FINANCIAL DOCUMENTS:

Your last will and testament, which is legally binding, details how you want to distribute your earthly goods — your valuables, what you want your survivors to have. You should also prepare:

A durable financial power of attorney, appointing someone to make financial decisions on your behalf until your death (should you become unable to do so).

You might want to explore the possibilities of a living trust, which gives a designated person (a trustee) authority to hold, manage, and distribute property for you while you are alive and to distribute it when you die. For this and the other legal and financial arrangements, you need sound advice from an expert.

PERSONAL WISHES AND LEGACY DOCUMENTS:

· A letter of intent (which is not legally binding) can spell out the things that would make you happy should you experience a disabling health event, so that you can't care for yourself and might not be able to express yourself. (Kristie Miller's letter of intent is a great example.)

· An ethical will (a legacy letter, a life letter — I haven't seen an ideal name for this kind of document) tells your survivors what you want them to know. This, too, is not legally binding. This document (or videotape or audiotape) conveys expressions of love, blessings, and regret; it conveys treasured personal and family stories and life lessons; it articulates what you value and want to be remembered for, what you want your children and grandchildren never to forget. You may convey what you want your survivors to know in print, on an audio or video recording, as a one-page letter, as collection of messages, a story, a memoir, genealogical records, a family history, a series of recorded interviews — the possibilities are endless. These needn't be fancy or ambitious, but they can be, and you can arrange for someone to help you through a writer's organization or the Association of Personal Historians, among other organizations. The Financial Planning Association reports from survey results that these "non-financial leave-behinds" are ten times more important to most people than their parents' financial legacy.

Also, find the time to document your medical history and the medical histories of all the family members that you can document. This information may be as important three generations down the line as it is now. At some point we'll find it easy to leave behind a sample of DNA, too.

And don't forget to gather and pass along favorite family recipes. Food is such an important part of our legacy of memories.

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Other documents and information you should have available in an easy-to-find place:

Names, addresses, phone numbers, birth dates, and social security numbers of everyone named in your will and other documents, and everyone important in your life, for your executors and guardians of minor children.

Details about principal income and about your retirement savings accounts and other assets, including names, addresses, phone numbers, and social security numbers of principal beneficiaries.

Details about your debts (especially to whom and how much). Include mortgages, loans, other debts.

List of property you own, with values (include real estate, vehicles, jewelry, furniture, other assets)

List of jointly owned property, and names of co-owners.

Location of all vital and legal documents (including birth certificate, prenuptial agreements, marriage certificates, divorce decrees, military records, immigration documents, property deeds, recent tax returns, wills).

A list of all financial assets and accounts, with bank ccount numbers and branch locations.

A master list of all your accounts (savings, checking, credit card, stocks, bonds, other investments, insurance, frequent flier accounts, etc). List each institution, type of account (checking? savings? money market?), owner or policyholder (you? you and spouse?), account number, contact information for institution.

A list of computer access codes and key passwords, or instructions on how to find them.

Details on all forms of insurance (life, health, dwelling, car, etc.).

A list of safe-deposit boxes, with an inventory of the contents. List all irreplaceable valuables (jewelry, heirlooms, photo negatives) and critical documents ( (marriage license, birth certificate, stocks and bonds) that are stored under lock and key and photocopy the documents for your home office files.

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Helpful Links

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Tess Vigeland interviews DJ, a 58-year-old woman from Durham, NC, who after many years with a chronic illness learns she has terminal cancer. At that point she realized she should make arrangements for her animal companions and her possessions…" those very difficult decisions we have to make in our lives about what to do with what remains after we leave."
"When my mother died," she says, "we had to go through her things, and it was so hard, because every time I was getting rid of something I felt like I was giving away a piece of her. So what I'm doing, I'm giving away a lot of things already…
"In truth, none of us knows how much time we have left. … Please do this. You owe it to your family; you owe it to the people who love you. When they lose you that trauma is so overwhelming, the last thing they need is to try to second guess what you wanted. Love them enough, love yourself enough, to do this for them. Face your fears about it and just do it. It's terribly scary, it's like the monster in the closet. But when you open the closet, the monster's not there. And it's going to happen to all of us. "

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