Dinah Lee Küng

To all those superior city types who incessantly ask me, "After London and Hong Kong and New York, how can you stand it? Do you STILL live in that village up in the mountains? I'm making no apologies. Show me the view from your kitchen window and I'll show you mine, here.

February 24, 2010, New Year's reflections by He Depu, Chinese Writer in Detention, Honorary Prisoner, PEN Centre Suisse Romand

China is celebrating its New Year in a few days. I remember spending New Year's Eve at home. (Perhaps beccause of my work in the democracy movement,) I often felt depressed and could not cheer up. Especially when I saw images on TV of pious pilgrims waving flowers and colored ribbons dancing, and singing, wholeheartedly greeting the New Year, I found it particularly difficult to feel cheered. At those moments, as a Democracy Movement veteran, I often asked myself: the Chinese democracy movement, those who wrote on the Democracy Wall, who gathered on the Square, those comrades who were arrested, where are they now? How are their families doing? Those heroes are in prison now because they stood up for freedom and democracy, while I wallow "in a sea of happiness". I felt so helpless. I felt guilty and ashamed. But those feelings of shame and guilt propelled me forward.
The New Year of 2010 is the eighth New Year I'm spending in prison. Although the living conditions here are so much worse than living at home, yet I feel most tranquil. This is because I don't get into self-blame from feelings of shame or neglect of my social responsibility.

I can stand up straight and hold my head high and say the truth, uphold my principles as a human being, giving my all. After the experience of all these years, I understand many things, many problems, things and problems that those who have not had prison experience do not understand.

When I am free again, I will take my time and tell you.
All these years, my strongest feeling is that family members, compared to those in jail, have a much harder life, much worse hardship. They are the weakest people in society. Not only are they dirt poor in terms of their economical situation, but in terms of politics they carry the burden of discrimination (such as the fact that the children of our families are not allowed to take exams for certain departments). Sometimes even their own mobility is restricted. Because of their family members in jail, they pay a dear price— too dear. Without their commitment,
we cannot accomplish the smallest things. To express my deep admiration for them, I have written a little poem for you and for our families. The poem is not good, but it expresses my heart's wishes.

Beautiful flowers in a dream
Pristine, pure, flawless
They blossom in hot summer, severe winter, against the harsh wind.
The whole world turns toward them in unison of praise.

23 February. (from Mrs Jia Jianying)

I went to see Depu. His spirits are good. He is very optimistic. He loves to hear greetings from friends. This time nearly everything I told him was New Year greetings from friends. He was very happy. He even asked me how Liu Xiaobo was doing and whether I had given him the quilted blanket.
When I said: I have helped Liu Xia finish the quilted blanket, he was so happy.
He again reminded me to write to you. He wants to tell you he is doing fine and that you should not worry, and he thanks you. When he gets out, he wîll actually say his thanks to you.
I too was feeling so helpless when I received your support and help. I have always felt deeply grateful.
I hpoe you and husband enjoy good health and happiness. Hope your children enjoy happiness.
Thank you.
He Depu's wife Jia Jianying
24 February 2010