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Blog: On Health. On Writing. On Life. On Everything.

What Stays

August 8, 2011

Tags: order, abuse, cruelty, death, difficulties, doubts, family, fears, finances, funeral, love, marriage, money, spouse, stroke, vice, What Stays

Coming from another funeral - this time in Europe - the question lingers: What stays if we have to die anyway?

In this case, love stayed. Love stayed long after the body of the loved one was felled by a series of strokes. For a dozen years the spouse cared for the loved one, with a thousand fears and doubts and difficulties, but never faltering. After all those many years, the loved one died at home, with the family by the bedside. - We all wish for such a death.

And such a love. Not asking what is in there for me. But asking what is the needed thing to do now. - We hear too much about who should be allowed to marry and who not. We should hear more what marriage involves. Not figuring out what he/she does wrong, but what he/she needs now. Whenever I feel sorry that I am not getting what I want, I feel a distances from the people I am with. When I ask: What can I give? What does he/she need now?, I feel close - and rewarded.

(It goes without saying that I don't condone cruelty, abuse, and the myriad of vices that make a marriage unbearable.)

We all know too many examples of the contrasting outcome: The spouse divorces the ailing partner, and runs away with the money, to a better life.

A better life? I cannot think of life and time better applied than caring thus.

Five-Minutes Meditation

December 18, 2010

Tags: order, aches, anger, anxiety, boredom, breathing, egg timer, emotions, energy, fears, Five-Minutes Meditation, holiday stress, high blood pressure, insomnia, itches, jealousy, meditation, Kabat-Zinn – Jon, listlessness, pain, pain killers, procrastination, purpose, sadness, sleeplessness, stress, stress reliever

This is the height of holiday stress. Here a fast stress reliever:

• Choose a quiet corner
• Turn egg timer on 5 minutes
• Sit with crossed legs on the floor on a cushion; or on a chair
• Keep your back straight - let the top of your head touch Heavens
• Hands: palms-up and open on your knees
• Closed eyes
• Breathe in and out slowly – always start with exhaling (counting regularly might help the beginner)
• Do not move at all except keeping your back straight
• Empty your brain from thoughts and outside disturbances
• Pay attention to your sensations: breathing, aches, itches, fears, etc.:
• Let them happen.
• Stop when the clock rings
• Go on with your day with renewed energy and purpose.

The Five-Minutes Meditation is useful when
• you are stressed out
• your emotions overwhelm you (anger, sadness, anxiety, jealousy, etc.)
• you are tempted to binge out on food (perfect to do before each meal in obesity, for instance)
• you suffer with sleeplessness - just do it before retiring to bed
• you are listless and bored and procrastinating
• you have high blood pressure
• you have pains - instead of taking pills

For really learning to meditate, there are good programs, groups, and courses available.
Do not attempt to increase the time above 5 minutes.


Citation
"Meditation is not about feeling a certain way. It's about feeling the way you feel. It's not about making the mind empty or still, although stillness does deepen in meditation and can be cultivated systematically. Above all, meditation is about letting the mind be as it is and knowing something about how it is in this moment. It's not about getting somewhere else, but allowing yourself to be where you already are. If you don't understand this, you will think you are constitutionally unable to meditate. But that's just more thinking and, in this case, incorrect thinking at that."
"But to stay at it for even five minutes requires intentionality. To make it part of your life requires some discipline. " (From: Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are).
Aspen eyes, by Peggy Peters

Iguazu Falls, by Xin Liu

Alexa Fleckenstein M.D. 2012, by Lolita Parker jr.

Tags - see also the non-captalized entries below!