--posted by Laurie
At the 2008 Winter Meeting of JASNA-SW we had an entertaining lunchtime activity, the idea for which we owe to the Greater NY Region of JASNA. We asked each table to write a “Dear Abby Letter" in the voice of one of Austen’s characters.
To get everyone started, Jaye Scholl Bohlen and I read a couple of letters we composed for the occasion.
In this first letter, we imagined Marianne Dashwood asking for advice for dealing with rejection from her one true love, Mr. Willoughby:
Dear Abby,
After months of a painful separation, I saw my beloved last week at a party. Instead of expressing his fond attachment, he acted the part of a mere acquaintance. I have since heard that he intends to marry another woman. Nevertheless, I believe he is still in love with me. What should I do?”
In this next sample letter, we imagined Mr. Collins asking for advice in proposing to Charlotte, having just been rejected by Elizabeth:
Dear Abby,
May I say, Madam, that it is an honor to solicit the favor of your most learned counsel. My query is thus: I have recently applied for my fair cousin's hand in marriage. However, she has unaccountably refused the offer which I had hoped would be the means of atoning for my future inheritance of her father's estate. Nevertheless, as my patroness has desired me to acquire a wife on this journey, I am determined not to return empty-handed. Therefore, I wonder if you might advise me on how best to arrange the sort of elegant compliments that would be pleasing to the lady who is my second choice?
Here are the letters the group produced.
We welcome our readers' answers to these pleas for advice. Please leave your answers in the form of a comment on this blog.
My dearest Ms. Van Buren,
I am writing from my quaint lodgings in the North Country. I fear my dearest adoring husband has tired of me. He comes home very late at night, sometimes not at all. We no longer go to assemblies -- and I do so long to dance with a redcoat. I have trimmed the same bonnet endlessly -- the shops here are so drab.
I have sent word to my sister and her husband - you would think they would take a strong interest in our welfare since he is my husbands dearest and oldest friend -- he even stood up in our wedding. But I have yet to hear anything.
I have determined I need money for finery to attract him. What would you advise to do next?
Sincerely yours,
L.W.
Dear Abby,
My youthful, generous heart and sympathy led me into a secret engagement with a young man who led me to expect prospects to which he can not any more lay claim. His worthy, esteemed, and charming brother now wishes my hand in marriage. How can I extricate myself from this unfair situation that is my lot through no fault of my own? Can a girl be expected to marry a man who will give her a life without ease and advantages, when she has the opportunity to make a better match?
--L.S.
Dear Abby,
My best friend's cousin--who stands to inherit their estate—has presented me with an unforseen but extremely advantageous alliance. My brothers will be thrilled; however, it might create an unfortunate situation with my friend and her family. What should be my course of action?
From,
Almost-on-the-Shelf
Dear Almost-on-the-Shelf,
All's fair in love and war!
Dear Abby,
I am newly married to the Vicar of a most elegant and respectable village, but to my astonishment I find that I am having difficulty with some of those parishioners who ought to be most eager and thankful to associate with me. This is, I believe, entirely the fault of the daughter of one of the leading gentlemen of the place; an arrogant young lady who is all too used to having every thing her own way. She cries up her own importance and turns every one against me. Fortunately, I have so many resources that I am seldom at a loss for amusement; but it is most trying to be obliged to bow down to this peremptory chit upon every possible occasion. Yet I cannot ignore her, or cut her; she is too much a part of the highest ranking family circles. I proposed that we unite to form a musical society but received nothing but scorn. What do you advise I should do?
--A.E.
Dear Abby,
My honored and respected father has lately died, and I hope I know my duty, as his son, to carry out his wishes in the manner he desired. Most of these, it is positively a pleasure to fulfill, and I shall do so with the most obedient care; I hope I shall prove a worthy administrator of his estates, and look after his beloved interests with ardent and filial respect. There is one matter, however, that perplexes me. My father left the majority of his property to me and to my little son, his adored grandchild; and, in addition, there was a generous remembrance to his unwed daughters of his first marriage. These young women are perfectly well provided for, but I have generously proposed that, in my father's memory, I might present them with some furniture from the house, so that they will have a token of remembrance from their early dwelling. My wife, however, reminds me that this will be so much is taken away from our son, and perhaps other children who may come; and once given away, such property will never return. Do you believe that my duty is to these girls, who are only my half kin, hardly any relation at all; or to my own wife and son?
--J.D.
Dear Abby,
I need help. I'm married to a soft-hearted man. How can I prevent him from being taken in by his grasping stepmother and half-sisters, who make an art out of looking pathetic? They mope around our house and refuse to leave. They even have an eye on laying claim to household items that do not belong to them. One of them has designs on my brother, who is also kindhearted and may fall prey to her charms.
Nervous at Norland,
F.D.
Dear Abby,
How do I break it to my sisters that I am going to marry a woman of no fortune and modest family connection of whom they do not approve? My sisters expect me to marry the sister of my closest friend who is of superior fortune and accomplishments. I am drawn to the woman I love's beauty, and our personalities are well matched.
--Anxious at Netherfield