I'm a writer living in the Washington, DC, area. My work has appeared in literary journals and anthologies including The Gettysburg Review, Gargoyle, Writes of Passage: Coming of Age Stories and Memoirs from The Hudson Review, in The Washington Post, and on NPR's "All Things Considered."

For more information, please see the Bio page.

You can follow me on Twitter:
@​paulawhyman.








We like the shoes.





"Mom takes a long time putting on her powders."

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Selected Works

Fiction

A young woman struggles with an unplanned pregnancy.

Sexual and racial tensions in a classroom threaten to explode as a young teen faces choices that will haunt her in adulthood. ORDER HERE

A young girl in Thailand is sold into prostitution by her mother.

A woman is haunted by events from the past that threaten to disturb her domestic life.

A man battles neighbors to build his dream house, while his son resists the pull of the family heritage.

A psychologist confuses fantasy and reality as she travels alone for the first time after her divorce.
Humor
Dining out with dietary issues, and Twizzlers. From the Washington Post.

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CURIOSITIES: THE BLOG

Readers Respond: Advice for the Food-Challenged

April 5, 2010

Tags: food, cooking, dining out

The response to my Washington Post article, When the Menu is a Minefield, has been huge and overwhelmingly positive.** Thank you to all who wrote and called with comments, suggestions, and further questions.

So many of you contacted me that I thought I'd post some of the great input that readers have provided, in the hope that it will help more people who struggle to find ways to enjoy dining out, without the unpleasant consequences.

I heard from people with much worse restrictions than my own, people who can't eat dairy, people who keep Kosher and also can't eat dairy, people who can't eat soy, people who are gluten-intolerant or have Celiac disease, people with allergies to onions and garlic, people with IBS or other GI ailments, people with multiple food sensitivities, and people with dietary restrictions that change over time. All of them told me they appreciated finally seeing this topic addressed in the newspaper.

If your primary problem is with dairy, a number of readers suggested trying lactase enzyme supplements of one kind or another, which can make lactose digestible (Lactaid chewable tablets, taken with dairy meals, and Digestive Advantage, which is taken once a day, are both popular options). This will only work if lactose is your problem--and even then, it doesn't work for all. None of the supplements work for me, but then again, my problem is unlikely to be lactose intolerance, since even completely lactose-free dairy products are off-limits.

In answer to some reader queries:

I've been asked what I substitute for milk. In cereal, I use rice milk. In cooking, I use soy milk. The latter is normally a one-for-one substitution. In baking, I use transfat-free vegetable shortening instead of butter. Or, if butter must be used, I watch everyone else eat what I baked. They're happy, I'm happy.

I have not found any palatable substitute for real dairy cheese. If you have, I would like to know about it. I've tried everything, and it all tastes like Glue Stick. So now, when I have a desire for cheese, I pour a cup of tea, and spread a little Glue Stick on my (nondairy) cracker. Then I throw the cracker in the garbage and drink the tea.

Do not assume that margarine is nondairy. To avoid dairy in spreads, either buy vegan, or Kosher-pareve/parve products. In my experience, the vegan version tastes better. Some of this can be used in baking to sub for butter; some cannot. Watch especially for salt content if you do that--you don't necessarily want salty baked desserts. YMMV.

The most difficult meal for me to eat out is breakfast. If I'm traveling, it's especially rare to have numerous options. Try going to a B&B or an inn and telling them you can't have dairy or eggs. You'll get half a grapefruit, and bacon. Oh, and I can't eat the grapefruit. And, gee, I'd rather not have bacon... Just coffee will be fine. Yes, black.

Readers recommend, and I agree:

A good way to ensure you are avoiding all dairy when dining out--if you have a choice as to where you dine--try a Kosher restaurant that serves meat. Meals served at certified Kosher meat restaurants will not contain any dairy products. It's challenging, for instance, to find a burger bun that doesn't contain dairy, unless you're at a Kosher restaurant. In our area, try Max's Deli in Wheaton, Md., Eli's in DC, and Pomegranate Bistro in Potomac, Md. You aren't limited to meat dishes at these places, but you are guaranteed a dairy-free meal. Max's has a great falafel bar.

Asian cuisine is also usually a reliable dairy-free option, but watch out for "fusion" restaurants--I have been hit with hidden dairy at such places.

The other way to go is vegan, especially if you want to avoid meat along with dairy. Great Sage, in Clarksville, Md., is a vegan restaurant that was mentioned to me by several readers. I look forward to giving it a try. Many nonvegan restaurants also offer vegan options, but as with any dietary restriction, the onus will be on the diner to ensure you're getting what you think you're getting.

A few people wrote touting their businesses, which offer vegan products. Here are two that look interesting--I haven't yet tried them myself, so this is not an endorsement, just information.

Abby's Table in Portland, OR, produces a line of vegan, gluten-free sauces, which they will mail nationwide, and they offer a weekly allergen-free dinner at their Portland location. I wish the latter were available here.

My Vegan Baker is located in Fairfax, Virginia, and offers just what it sounds like--home-baked vegan (but not gluten-free!) desserts (dairy-free tarte tatin, someday?).

And here's a blog that focuses on eating out with food allergies in the New York area: Allergic Girl Recommends

And finally, why I can't eat pears, sweet potatoes, garbanzo beans, spinach...

In the Post article, I alluded to other dietary restrictions that I deal with. A number of readers were curious about that, and the simplest explanation is that I can't tolerate specific fruits, vegetables, and beans, because of another diagnosed disorder. This is probably a good topic for a health column on medical mysteries...since it was rather complicated to discover. When I was able to eat dairy, I ate a lot less meat, but with my other restrictions, it's almost impossible for me to get enough protein without eating meat. So that's one reason why I'm not attempting a vegan diet.

The other reason is, I like meat.


[**Except for a select few angry vegans (not representative of most people choosing to follow vegan diets, I might add), who apparently need a lesson in the difference between dietary choices based on philosophy and/or food aversions, and dietary restrictions that are based on medical need.]

With all those flames, there must be a burger, right? ;)
(joke!! it's a joke!!)

In WashPost Food & Chat Today:
Yours Truly, Dining Out With Issues

March 31, 2010

Tags: food, cooking

Are you secretly (or not-so-secretly) gluten-intolerant, lactose-intolerant, seafood-allergic, peanut-free or otherwise at risk anytime you sit down to a restaurant meal?

Check out my article in today's WASHINGTON POST Food section, CHECK PLEASE: WHEN THE MENU IS A MINEFIELD, about dining out with dietary restrictions and how successfully restaurants do (or do not) accommodate difficult folks like me.

WANNA CHAT? You can find me on FREE RANGE, the Washington Post food section's online discussion about everything foodie, today (3/31) from 1-2pm. I'll be joining Food section staff to answer questions related to the topic of my article.

You do need to log in to participate, or even lurk...so if you're not already signed up to read the Post online, register anytime; it's free. And how many worthwhile things can you say that about, these days?

This Can Opener Will Change Your Life

May 31, 2009

Tags: Random curiosities, cooking

I am a sucker for cooking p*rn, that has been well-established. However, I'm conservative (my All-Clad and Le Creuset were bought at half-price, thank you very much). I'm also strongly aligned against single-purpose kitchen tools. You will never see, for instance, a corn kernel cutter or a pineapple wedger in my kitchen. I don't like gimmicks, generally, so when I bought a nylon micro-cooker (for steaming vegetables in the microwave), I ended up using it to wash my kids' hair in the bathtub. (It has a spout, which is perfect for this job, whereas a glass bowl works fine for the vegetables...but not for washing hair.)

So what was I doing at a Pampered Chef party today?

Buying stuff, of course.

I came with a list, and it did not include a new can opener. Then the rep punched up her demonstration by announcing, "This can opener will change your life."

How will it change your life, you ask? It opens the can without leaving a sharp edge, so you can remove the lid with your fingers and not cut yourself.

Obvious metaphor alert: Remove all the sharp edges from your life. An appealing idea, isn't it? If only it were that easy.

But is that really what we want? Bloody fingers are painful and messy, and no one wants that, of course. But what part of the experience do we miss by eliminating danger? I use 16,000 btu's for wok-cooking (more would be even better), and then I get burned, but if I don't do it, everything cooks too long, and it's bland and boring.

Still, if all it took was a can opener, who could resist?

Which is to say, Reader: I bought the can opener. The metaphor only goes so far.


For more on my favorite kitchen toys, see my guest blog at Madam Mayo's site.